Pick a Lock

Picking locks in video games has always been pretty easy; you make a skill check, break a pick or two, maybe even play a little mini-game, and the door swings right open. In the real world picking a lock is a lot tougher, but it’s still something you can learn to do with a little practice. You can find a great article about how to pick a lock at wikihow, complete with video, diagrams, and information on how to make your own picks.

Once you’ve mastered the basic pick-and-tension-wrench method, check out the article on bumping a lock. This is an even more sophisticated and efficient method for picking a lock, and is sure to impress your friends.

Differentiate Between Dr. Pepper and Mr. Pibb

Ah, the immortal question: Which reigns supreme, Dr Pepper or Mr PiBB? Well, actually it’s not much of a contest. After all, there’s a reason that Pepper got his PhD and PiBB is still stuck slaving away in the world of blue-collar sodas. Hell, the kids these days don’t even call Mr. PiBB “Mr.” anymore; he’s just “PiBB” now. It’s shameful, really.

But just knowing which is superior isn’t enough. A true nerd can distinguish between the two in a double-blind taste test and can reverse-engineer each into its secret ingredients. There’s a long standing rumor that Dr. Pepper is made with prune juice, but it turns out that this is false. Us? Of course we could tell you what the secret is, but we’ll let you figure it out for yourself.

Avoid DRM on everything

DRM is certainly a hot button issue these days, and there’s no better way to register your opinions than with your pocketbook. It would be nearly impossible to avoid DRM completely without resorting to piracy or giving up on a lot of fun things, but there are steps you can take to companies who release their IP without DRM. For instance, you can try awesome, DRM-free games such as Sins of a Solar Empire and World of Goo.

Most digital music stores these days are DRM free, including Amazon and Walmart’s stores, so you’re pretty much in the clear there, although most of iTunes is still off limits. Unfortunately, if you want DRM free video, Bittorrent is still pretty much your only option.

Download Flash Video and Bend it to Your Will

Any old schmuck can watch streaming video on sites like YouTube, but a real nerd’s nerd can save the video to disk, convert it to run on his PSP and his modded DS, and save it to DVD, all before you can say “copyright infringement.” If you can’t do all that, educate yourself.

Get Around In DOS

With every passing year, the percentage of nerds who grew up in a time after DOS gets larger. So listen up, young’ns, because even if it’s not something you have to use very much anymore, if you don’t know how to at least get around in DOS you’re going to look like a real PC lightweight.

Commit these seven commands to heart, and you’ll never find yourself stranded in DOS:

CD: Change directory; essential for getting around
DIR: List the contents of the current directory.
COPY: Copy a file, obviously. The syntax is “copy [filename] [destination filepath and filename]”
MKDIR: Create a directory. The syntax is “mkdir [directory name]”
MOVE: Move a file. Used with the same syntax as COPY
DEL: Delete a specified file.
RD: Delete a specified empty directory. If you want to delete a directory with contents, use RD /S /Q which will delete the entire directory tree

Rip a DVD to h.264

As hard drives get to be bigger and cheaper than ever before, it makes more and more sense to rip your optical data to your disk. Video transcoding can be kind a tricky process.

Overclock Your PC and Tune Your BIOS

If you’re still running your computer’s components at their factory default settings, you’re missing out on a lot of potential power. You can check out our guide for overclocking your CPU and RAM by following this link.

Use Remote Desktop

One of the most powerful mobile computing tools available to Windows XP and Vista users is Remote Desktop. It’s pretty easy to set up and allows you to securely access and control your home or office computer from anywhere. To use Remote Desktop, follow these steps:

1.    On the host computer, enable Remote Desktop. On an XP computer this is done by clicking on the “System” icon in the control panel, and then navigating to the “Remote” tab. Once there, check the box marked “Allow users to connect remotely to this computer” and click the “Select Remote Users…” button to select which users can connect remotely, bearing in mind that any users with administrator access can connect automatically.

2.    Assuming your host computer is connected to the internet through a router, you’ll need to enable port forwarding for port 3389. If you do not know how to do this, simply hit this link, select your router model from the list and follow the instructions.

3.    In order for other computers to connect to the host computer, you’ll need to either get a static IP address from your ISP, or use a service such as DynDNS.com, which will allow you to have a subdomain which always points to your computer, even if you have a dynamic IP. Also, make sure Remote Desktop is configured as an exception in Windows Firewall.

4.    On the client computer, click on the Start button, then Accessories, then Communications. Click on the Remote Desktop Connection in that menu. In the menu that pops up specify your host computer’s IP address, and click connect. Then enter your login information just like you normally would, and you’re all set.

Debate the Relative Merits of an Imperial Star Destroyer vs. the USS Enterprise

It’s the debate to end all debates. The quintessential battle between two breeds of geek: the hypothetical confrontation between the USS Enterprise (1701-D from The Next Generation) from Star Trek and an Imperial Star Destroyer from Star Wars. The dispute will probably never be resolved, but satisfaction doesn’t come from a resolution, it stems from the details of the discussion. Do lasers have any effect on the Enterprises’s shields? (No, according the TNG episode “The Outrageous Okona”) Should you take into account TIE fighters? What about the Force? We could go on and on.

To adequately prepare for the debate, you should watch all 176 episodes of The Next Generation along with the three original Star Wars films. In addition, you can familiarize yourself with the various technical manuals released detailing the specifications for each ship, though these might not be considered “canon”. Pointing out technical inconsistencies and plot loopholes is also a reliable way to getting on your opponent’s nerves.

Build Your Own Computer

We’re a little hesitant to say too much about this last item on the list, since we don’t want to insult our reader’s PC IQ too much and we figure that if you read Maximum PC, you’ve probably built at least one PC. However, the bottom line is that if you’ve never built your own computer from parts, you might as well just turn in your pocket protector right now, because you’re not a real nerd.

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